desired dreams
Thursday, August 30, 2001
Tuesday, August 28, 2001
isnt it odd when you have cravings for certain foods? hehehe. i had buca's last nite... that is sooooo dominator!! XD`` all the foods that we ordered... everyone loved the veal marsala... hahaha. thats right. jocy knows whats good to eat! XD
Saturday, August 25, 2001
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai. things went weird last nite. i dont know how to describe it. why does my mom have to be such a hypocrite?!?! it just doesnt make sence.... at all. =( well at least i got to spend some time with my Rossi. ^^; so wonderful... and yet not so wonderful. its just weird. o_o;;;
Friday, August 24, 2001
oush. i can't believe... slowly but surely people are finding out. Its well... amazing. what can I say? work is slow... must get out. but not done with shipping. >.< i guess maybe i should fix the rest of my site i guess... er fix the rest of this blog here. o_O;;;; ou. that sucks so much. i'm tired. i actually talked on the phone till like 3 in the morn last nite... with mishtare u know who. ^_~ oush. i guess i should get going ne? teehee. i sitll have to work on kedo's blog too. >.<
Wednesday, August 22, 2001
what happens when u give jocy a bag of potato chips?
she will aimlessly eat them all.. and feel fat afterwards. =B
oush. did i ever mention how much Japanese trend is *SOOO* much better then American trend... XD XD XD. i should get goin. shippin to go!! waai. skary ppl @ work. T_T;
Tuesday, August 21, 2001
oush.
I'm so tired. i'm so buzy... i'm i'm... so in love. *_*
ou. I talked to Jae Kinetic last nite online. It was fun. I found out he is a GSC lover!!! *_* oush. i love Rallllllly. =D ou. and i worked some more on the lilneko website... my butt hurts. *rubs butt* it put so much time into it. well now we have an pictures page. but i have to link them all together. I think i'm gonna work on a mp3 page and stuff too. o__X ou wel. enough for now... back to work. i still gotta fix this page too... when i get a chance. =D
Sunday, August 19, 2001
ouuuuuuu. so todays randomness... =D how much fun a tarepanda can beeeee! ^-^
cristyne: jdogg and cynan are here now - so we're gonna work on some stuff. i'll catch you later, okay? bye!
LiLUsako: ouki. ^^ haf fun! =D
LiLUsako: *waves to otheres*
cristyne: they're too busy playing with tarepanda ;O
cristyne: but i'm sure they sa y hi too ;PO
LiLUsako: O_O;;;;
LiLUsako: LOLOL.
LiLUsako: "buzy playing w/ tarepanda" o_o;;;
LiLUsako: quote of today!
Friday, August 17, 2001
oooooooooou! random thought, a venti caramel machiatto with halzenut shots... yesh. i am a follower of starbucks.. (but only when i get em for free =D )
Thursday, August 16, 2001
=O
so many things! i have a new blogger now. o_O:;;;;;;;;
talk about 3 bloggers! XD
you can find the other one here: http://www.japanimation.com/dbz/capsule/ its allll weird.
Wednesday, August 15, 2001
my blog post went somewhere... o_O;
n e way. i talked about a few random things.
1. UPS sucks
2. i can code! (If u can use n e thing more l337 than html, then j00 ish winnar)
3. FedEx and US Postal service merged
4. I love hugs
5. I love Ross
6. UPS still sucks...
7. still mad at my bro
8. stir-fry tortalini is weird. o_O; especially after u microwave it. =B
more wondering:
does code red make u pee red? o_O; i think thats it for now... it was more in-depth... buuuut... blog is being a dork. =B i go check out my template now.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaai. BLOG IS BEING A DORK!!! *searches frantically* where did mai other post go!?!? o_O; *kicks blogger* give mai blog post back!
Tuesday, August 14, 2001
more ranting from... guess what you get when u play chrono cross with a clock out of power... so u can't see the time... a very very very tired girl. maybe that psOne was a bad idea. ¬_¬ i'm hekka tired now... and still at work. -_-
This is gonna be a quick post.. cuz i'm at work. (But work doesnt open till 10) ^^;;
Just a few things:
1. my mom wont let me stay over night at a party thats co-ed and supervised.
2. i'm tired.
3. my brother is stupid and doesn't know why i'm angry at him
4. i'm still depressed.
going now. will talk later.
Monday, August 13, 2001
waaaaaaaai. i'm posting yet again. i can't help it i guess. guar. my head hurts. i'm so like tired i guess. ugh. i've been hella depress0rs lately also. i've been this way for just a fucking long time. i don't know why. i want to cry. i've been in such a horrid mood all day long today. i wish i had someone to talk to. i wish i had something to make me smile... but there is nothing. i dont know. what is wrong with me? i just don't know. ugh.
I was thinking. people hate chango for what he did... but for me, i don't hate him. I guess with that recent mgl tourn ( i need to get this out of my head) i feel as if... its been... like even. Mike gave chango a warning, chango gave mike a warning... well i guess things didn't work out that way. =T In all honesty, i think Chango is a not so bad person. I swear, people say, OMFG. crackpr0n is like... a horrible horrible person... and well with me... I don't see mikey that way... Mikey has treated me with respect, i'd like to get to know him, but i guess thats not gonna happen. oh well. i don't know what to say. =T Next time i guess.
Yet again, i'm whining, i haven't started my summer reading books, i need to work on my webpage and i need to do a whole bunch of other stuff... everything has been so fast and so buzy... i can't believe this. I want to run away. i don't know. ugh. hearing my brothers voice is like ick... i've been wanting to play extra mix since last night... i want to do a remember you routine, but my brother has been playing tatics since like last night... and he calls me the selfish one... i don't want to ask him. cuz he'z and ass hole. i can't believe it. it just hurts. i've counted the number of times he's called me bitch, and told me to fuck off... and never once have i ever swore to him like that. i'm a peice of shit. i'm worthless. thats what it is. like earlier, i didn't go to church (yay for me) and so like my parents called to see if we (cuz my bro didn't go either) wanted lunch... i was still "sleeping" so my brother answers the phone and says, "I dont know jocelyn is sleeping" in such a rude tone of voice. then my dad tells him to wake me up, and like he goes to my room and shoves the phone in my face, and starts kicking my bed... wtf do you think i am? an animal? u could at least fucking tap me on the shouder... and then he was like, "She wont wake up, don't give her anything..." so... did my parents bring anything? no. when i woke up later, my bro was like almost done w/ his lunch... and my mom asked if he had any left... and my bro ate all the rest and said no. and my mom didn't do anything. so gee thanx. and y'all tell me i'm selfish? riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. what fucking hypocrites. the only time i'm selfish is when i need a man in my life, to keep me from going insane and depressive like this. why the fuck does the always happen to me? every time. when i don't have anyone who understands how i feel, i go shittin in a hole and getting all depressed. i want to shoot myself. this fucking sucks. its like no one really cares for me at home. i might as well just not eat, or go home... i just want to run away. i want to leave this house... i hate this place... out of all families to be born into, why the fuck was i born into this one? I'm not treated with justice. fucking a. why the hell am i treated like a girl? i can fucking take care of myself, and i'm a mature enough. and fuck no, i'm a girl. I don't care if i go and have sex... why should you care? they're my morals, and its my body... you can't fucking tell me what to do with my life... and thats all u fucking to. you tell me how to be who i am. you tell me how i'm supposed to be a proper girl. you tell me when i'm not allowed to aceept phone calls. you tell me when i'm not allowed to talk to people. you tell me the friends that i can't be with... you tell me everything that i'm expected to be, and i'm not. and you call me selfish? what the fuck. and you fuckin say, "Yeah this guy likes you that guy likes you" well i don't care... i dont fucking care. and you know why? its because I love Ross. I love him with all my heart. and for those fuckers who are reading this, i don't care any more. I love him. and If you have a fucking problem with it, then talk to me. Cuz i'm his girl, and your not. Your not dating him. i am. and my parents won't accept it. its not proper, its not lady like, well i don't give a fuck. I dont care. I might be selfish, only because I love him... and thats the only fucking time when i'm selfish... is when i'm in love.
Sunday, August 12, 2001
I am hekka depressed like whut. i don't wanna hear it from anyone. I'm just fucking depressed. So the MGL tourny was nice... or at least for the most part of it. the PA was boring, but hanging out with the sacramentals was great. I made new friends. Getting to know Melody and Judy was great too. Such great girls! I bet v00j00 and Mel B. are both happi men. ^-^; i also feel better that I'm not hated by Ukyo and by LiL B. even though i thought they weren't too fond of me... i was wrong. It was good seeing Mil, and Sl1p be a coward, and random things like that. And PhenioxWillKillYou... he is dominator. Godden... he's soooooo kyute! ^-^ "Aw aw aw aw Fock" ^-^; And and and... who else? Mike made a funny! that was hillarious. There things here and there that were okay, and some routines here and there that were alright. honestly i didn't do n e better... but i know i made some polishes here and there. Hopefully it will be better? I dunno. *plans for a remember you couple routine* Thats right... that routine is going own everyones fawking soul.
but it doesnt matter... those arn't the reasons why i'm depressed. Well... if started like friday night... i commented on that while ago, but it was like, "Ugh, you are a fucking selfish little brat" thing from my brother.... it didn't help. so like saturday during PA and stuff... those ppl i was around with made me feel better.... then later after chango's routine and how everyone was told to go home... my brother basically started to imply that it was my fault that my dad, my bros friend and him were there late at MGL and stuff... everything was my fault.... and like i don't know. his whole attittude has been so rude... it makes me want to cry. I don't know... i just does. I feel as if no one really cares wheter i get to see the sun rise tomorrow. I want to shoot myself right now. it just sucks being around ppl you know who don't really care, er at least realize to care. everything becomes my fault my fault my fault... i dont know. its not making me very happy. i want to just shoot myself. it makes me so depressed. i don't care. i'll just be whatever people want me to be... instead of me being myself. i hate my life. it sucks so much. >.<
Saturday, August 11, 2001
waaaaaaaaaaai! Its earlee in da morning! phew. last nite was like... x_X; i still feel kinda depress0rs. but i ain't gonna show it. today ish da miggle tourny... yay. i get to see people. ^^ so it ain't that bad. i was talking with jennie-bean about the possible winnings for freestyle. i wuz like... meebee i will get brownie points for being a girl. LoL. n e way. i'm hekka tired. i couldn't sleep last night. T_T; oh well. and this time i will remember to bring hair ties! Poor Mikeal was like T_T; when i didn't have n e. i so sowwwwie!!! hRuMpH. and if ppl think they know Mikeal fer a long time... not as long as meee! and David... and that other guy. o_O; aiiiie. i forgot his name. Oh well. lots of shit gonna happen today... i just don't know what... yeah. its like drama... o_O; oh well. i dont care. at least mai guy ish gonna be there! but jas isnt! >.< he has to go to a jorneys concert... i guess they're okay... i dunno if i've ever heard em bef0re. o_O; meow. wow. and STILL i met *MORE* ppl yesterday... i wuz like. o___O:;; i met a few sacramentals... and then just odd ppl here and there. it was kinda nice. ^^; huMM0rz. we hafta go pick up mai lil bro's friend... he likes ddr... but i guess not as much as we dooooo. omg. i feeeeeelllll sooooo specialz. I know stuff that ppl don't know. =B hahahaha. i feel so special. ^_^; oh well. i also need to figure out how this archive thing works. cuz it aint putting em on mai site! >.< okii. jocy gonna go to tourny! XD```
arooooooooooooou! w00f. o_O ish late at nite. one thirthy! i can't spell! XD go pink dinosaur! hahaha. i wore a dress... i was... "Scandalous compared to what i usually wear" er thats what i told jas. omg. my hand hurts. ow. x_X; damn. so tomorrow ish gonna be the miggle tourny, ish gonna be helllllllllla tight. i guess. =T i get to see lots of ppl! howabout that? that sounds good. ^^ so like. i've got things running in on mai mind. i met some really kewl peepos. and MORE GIRLS! I was like. OMFG!!! I've never seen so many girls compete in mai life!!!!!!!! WOWWIES. i wonder how the singles freestlye ish gonna turn out. me thinkx0rs i'mma gonna do Only You if i make it to semi-finalz. I doubt. but i dont care. i'm kinda happy that *I* know my dancing skills have improved... a little. it isnt much. but i guess its a start? hopefully i'll be able to uMM0rz take more dance classes. just cuz its fun. =D i love it. Oh WeLLz. my bro threw a big attitude problem at me today. i wonder what he's goin thro. he says stuff and like no one in the family knows what he's talking about... and ending up all he can say, "Your a fucking selfish little brat" to me over and over again. sometimes i wonder, am i truely a selfish brat? i dont know... it make me hella depressors. i'm not happy now. i was in a good mood... and now i'm just like... depressed. Its not fair... sometimes i feel as if i do help out... and do *unselfish* things and yet... i'm always called a selfish person. i dont know what to do. -_-; i dunno... so many things running through my mind... everything is gonna be interesting tomorrow... lets see what happens... x_X; who knows what willz... oh well. all i can say tomorrow ish gonna be one hell of a ride.
Friday, August 10, 2001
ooowww. my leg hurts. wow. tonight is the pre-tourny night. thats kewl. ^^; omg. i got like 5 greats on mr wonderful... that was like wow... i dont think i could ever do that at the tourny! hehehehe. hRm. i should be getting ready, but there have been like hella things on my mind. for the most part, i was wondering... last night my brother stayed at my friends house, yeah yeah the usual. and like he didn't call my mom in the evening to leave a msg on her phone and let her know what time he was comming home. did my mom get mad? hell no... guar. it makes me upset. for the fact that if i call like an *hour* late i get a yelling. what is that supposed to mean? >.< I told them, get me a cell phone.. "Oh you dont need it" and its the same bullshit all over again. it drives me insane. guar. i hate when my parents do this to me. HuH. i should take a shower, get ready for miggle... i'mma gonna be wearing a dress... with mai vans... and look like a fob gurl. i dont think n e one knows about it... but jahi wuz like, "Why don't u surpize dem all..." sounds like a good idea! I lub0rs mai jahi. ^^ he's such a great guy. everything that he says is so... balanced? thats not the right word. but i can't put it a word to it. oooooh well. i guess i should be getting ready... o_O; yeaaah sumphin like that. i should bring a camera too. yeah yeah yeah. ^-^ For once i'm not working today. I'm so happy. =D i haven't been this happy in a while! Go Godzilla Go! OMG. and 1989 on the Beatmania IIDX 5th Style soundtrack owns you... i love it sooooo much! It's just tooooooo kewl. =D reminds me of the earthquake... =X not good. oh well. thats another story for sometime later. ^^ jocy outz
Thursday, August 09, 2001
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomfg!!! The Beatmania IIDX 5th Style soundtrack owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnz you. I swear to god! OMG. this ish soooooo gute! Thanx to mai lil pet Rossi =P hahaha I called u a pet =P =P =P whut u gonna do about it? WhuT wHut! haha. N e Way. thanx to Mishtare Rossi I gots to get mai-self a burned copy of this wonderful soundtrack... (damn its so hard to find em good beatmania soundtrack) sooooooo today wuz a neet day. well not so neet. i gots so many rants and raves... i think i blew it up at the dinner table. =B today we went to Paul Joes, Its in san carlos off of el camino, yeaaaaah. so if u guys ever pass by there, its a hella tight place to check out. Its all about the dollar bills up on the ceiling. whoops. i think i spoiled the fun right there. ^-^;; n E way... i'm going to update my blog here first... and then i'll get back to UmM0rz ranting. =B
Wednesday, August 08, 2001
wouldnt it be strange if things were going the way you wanted? especially for me. everything that i want... never happens. so i havent posted in a few days, thats what happens when u start working... you don't have time for anything. i've been so tired lately. its like =( *sob* i'm getting old...but then again i dunno. any way. I got a raise! nothing big. w00t w00t. uM. erM. i worked on mai routine some more... its better. i've gotten most of it down so i dont have to really look at the screen. i wonder if i'll pull it off. o_o; mgl tourny is comming up... i am... excited? its like a no-big... i dunno. its just strange. hm. what else? iono. i cant think of n e thing else. maybe i'll add in like some more stuff to this here template. o_O; sounds good? i guess so. =D I'm in a pretty good mood. yesterday i was all bummy... shipping days are not fun @ work. >.<; jocy outterz!
Monday, August 06, 2001
haaaaalllllllllo! I'm like actually posting... aiiiiiiiiieee. its late at nite... er morning. I gots workies to go to. yuck. i got to go to hi-5 today. thats kewl. I met mai special man... that was kewl too. and i have been reminded: SMILE. what does that mean? WeLlz the MGL tourny ish comming upperz. I get so skared. i dont smile. my freestyle style is.... well nevermind. peepoz said that my reno routine wuz gute. maybe i've gotten better? iono. oh well. i don't care. all i care about is putting it together and doin it for mai man. hehehe. hRm. other things that i did today? iono. oooh! whats that song called? like V on IIDX 5th style is like ownage. "Its an unf song" o___O; don't ask. but yea. lately i've been thinking many things. lots of things going through my head. but my eyes are getting sleepish. I've been thinking a lot about the whole *PDA* issue about me and mai man. I dunno. its just like, is it finally time? i guess what mish hikaru said was like true... but then again... theres that feeling inside of me thats holding me back. i guess with me, when i can't put up with it, i run away. i do that. when i can't stand an argument, i run away and hide. i don't like screaming, anger, shouts... =( not funn0rz. so like if peepoz were to find out about us... who knows what would happen. more drama drama revolution ne? aiya. but, then again we've been together for over 6 months... miggle is gonna be like a 7th month anniversery... who would have known. oh well. i should get to bed. its getting late. but for dinner we hit juban... in burlingame. den we hit NETWORK VIDEO. that place is like ownage. i bought a psOne. XD``` (only just to try out my playstation screen) and uMmors... ooooh! DDR EXTRA MIXORS! that game OWNAGES you. i dont know why... it just does. maybe its cuz theres solo mix songs on there... like Dream a Dream - miami booty mix. =D and baby mama... and super star... and then theres cat's eye!!! *unf* i've fallen in love. i think extra mix is gonna be a jocy's fav game. =D i should go to sleep... yeah. something like that. x_x; i need to take a week off from work, i need to like... get ready for skooooooo. not funn0rz. =B nitey!
Saturday, August 04, 2001
weeeeeeeeeee trying out the rest of mai blogger... blogblogblogblog... hopefull this template will... turn out the way i like it? maybe? I mish mai fav buddy in the world. he went to O-YaMa's tourny tourny! yepperz, on a kolean mix machine too! ^_^; n e way. i'm hungri. >:O hot dogs are.... nevermind. i got to see rush hour 2, and jurasic park 3.... go watch rush hour 2... its better then silly dinosaurs... I still love Jackie Chan... ever since i wuz a little girl. *_*
Thursday, August 02, 2001
owwwwwwwww. my head hurts. so its been a while i guess since i've written n e thing in my blooooooooooggggggger. I'm sooooo tired. did i ever mention that 4th grade girls are soooo hard to take care of? Trust me. they are. its soooooooooo like. o___O; i guess. its crazy stuff. =B I got to spend the night over last nite.... it was fun. but i gots grogy like later in the afternoon. that wasnt fun =B. the girls in my unit were SOOOOOOO loud... my ears are ringing. it reminds me of how i'm not ready to have kids yet... its really scary. =B i never ever want to have kids. i never ever want to be a teacher.... its TOO scary. they're sooooo loud and roudy. I was talking to an adult friend of mine and she was saying how like the parents were like that too. thats kinda skare now. it really is. but. some of the girls were sweethearts. i lub0rs them. ^-^ some were lying little brats... i didnt like them too much... but my co-leaders and I survived. amazing isnt it? hmmm... any way. its been a long two weeks... i get to work tomorrow.. yay. i want to buy the rest of the detective conan manga... but there are sooo many. =T oh well. i guess i'll write later. i want to work on this here blogger template. =D
